Time To Kick Some Marketing Butt}

Submitted by: Barry Densa

Why is it that some direct marketers particularly those who rely on their marketing efforts to pay their bills, pay their employees, put their kids through college, fund their retirement, fund their stock market losses, pay for Caribbean cruises, second homes, adulterous affairs, gambling predilections and all other foibles and vices choose to employ headlines that read like this very sentence youre reading right now?

Oh come on… you know the kind. Theyre long, excruciating long 40, 50, 60 word diatribes, whose only purpose is to pull the mesmerizing wool over some poor slobs eyes.

Well, listen up, if you like putting the entire script of Days of Our Lives in a headline, Ive got news for you…

That poor slob youre yelling down to from on high is your client and hes paying for all that you do in your life so start treating him/her with a truck-load more respect.

Stop acting like an insecure, uneducated copywriter/marketer/felon without an honest or creative thought in your head. Do a little homework. Find out what words, language and mode of expression really communicates and resonates with your target market.

Stop trying to cram every thought every benefit, feature, offer, and guarantee into a headline.

A headline has only one purpose (see below) and believe me, its not to lie, educate or run at the mouth.

And Stop slapping garish red lipstick on huge botox inflated fonts in your headlines all because youre afraid that if you dont… your victims wont feel bludgeoned and compelled enough to read the rest of the ad.

Hello! Ive got news for you…

That type of grab em by the eyeballs and eardrum carnival barking style of selling dont work no more!

Most people aint that stupid not anymore!

Come on… dont you know whats going to happen if you dont mend your ways and seek higher ground? Youre going to waste postage, bandwidth, good will, time, effort and lots of peoples patience.

Your reader, your cash cow they who fund you, who put a roof over your head, and pay for all that is mentioned in paragraph one above are going to either click away, turn the page or toss your marketing genius of a sales letter into that in which it belongs.

So, please stop, for your sake. And besides, youre giving us marketers and copywriters a bad name and polluting the environment every environment business, ecological and spiritual!

Listen, not only do these headlines scream that youre trying to sell something (and by the way, people hate being sold) theyre extremely hard, tiring and painful to read.

And dont get me started on all those hyped-up, clichd promises of instant riches, happiness and 70 virgins when you die Jeez! Who do you think youre marketing too? Borat!

Look. A headlines sole purpose is to get you to read whats right underneath it. Nothing more.

Its supposed to stop you from picking your nose or whatever it was you were doing before you picked up the ad.

Its supposed to strike a deep and resonating chord in your minds eye so you cant stop yourself from reading whats right underneath it.

Its supposed to show a little leg and thats it, not give away the whole show by parading around buck-naked.

A headline is the hint of better things to come.

About the Author: Barry A. Densa is one of Americas top freelance direct response copywriters. Visit


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